Madam C. got me thinking when she questionned the LDS Church's reasoning on the purpose of families. She noted that on mormon.org is the question “What’s the point of family, if it all ends at death?” Interestingly, the church's video response neglects to answer this question, but rather makes it moot by asserting that family life doesn't end in death...as if the eternal duration itself is what gives family life worth.
Oh really.
The question and the response are telling. Isn't it interesting to note how a cultural group (in this case the LDS Church) can be so convinced that what gives meaning to its families by default makes everyone else's families seem meaningless?
Because this group can't find meaning without eternal perpetuation, they assume that no one else can either. Also evident here (watch the video above, it's only a minute long) are some unspoken assumptions. 1) Man is inherently selfish and lazy; 2) Man resists having a family because of the work/risks involved; 3) Man is ultimately motivated by external rewards.
Those assumptions (at least about man's aversion to family life) are just not supported by history. Meanwhile, hundreds of thousands of us (at least) enjoy, value, and seek family relationships without hope of eternal life!
If the church can't answer it's own question, it should at least ask its members the following: "How do others find meaning in family life without our shared view of eternity?" Pondering such a question might serve to foster empathy and understanding, rather than to merely reinforce ethnocentricity ("what we consider meaningful must be universal").
5 comments:
Very insightful post Sarah. I think that there is an unfortunate incorporation of those ideas for those raised in Mormon or religious culture where they feel to reject their particular religion is to reject the very concept of family or hope of eternal happiness. It creates this false dilemma where you think that you can only have those things if you swallow all the fallacies and extreme rules.
It's very revealing when someone says, "How can you be moral without a belief in a god? What keeps you from becoming a deranged drug-addict, axe murderer, and cat pornographer?"
You mean all that's keeping them from same is their belief? That's the kind of person I don't want to be around if they ever have a challenge to their faith.
Gardner - ah yes, the false dilemma. That deserves a post of its own someday! :)
Daniel - very funny, good point.
"Because this group can't find meaning without eternal perpetuation, they assume that no one else can either."
This attitudes resonates profoundly among TBMs. When talking to my mother about not believing in the church, she says things like, "Well if there's nothing after death than what's the point of living or trying to be happy?"
I think that this attitude is a result of a lifetime of conditioning that tells the member that a life without belief in the after life pointless. Just like a marriage that ends in death is pointless.
Which brings me to an interesting tangential point, if civil marriages are really so insignificant, why did the church care to get so involved in the whole Prop 8 election? It had to do with civil marriages, not with temple ones...
Sarah, you mentioned an interesting thing in your post:
Also evident here (watch the video above, it's only a minute long) are some unspoken assumptions. 1) Man is inherently selfish and lazy; 2) Man resists having a family because of the work/risks involved; 3) Man is ultimately motivated by external rewards.
Those assumptions (at least about man's aversion to family life) are just not supported by history.
I cannot generalize this to all LDS people (and I'm quite thankful that I can't), but I've just been around some blogs that are just so...negative...about family life. These bloggers make it seem like a "necessary evil" that must be borne out and that one must be resigned to if they want a celestial reward.
It is one of the saddest things I've heard, quite frankly. It is as if these people really DO believe that without a belief in the eternal worth of family, they *would* resist it because of the work involved.
I think your question is a good one. The church and its members should ask, "How do others find meaning in family life without that shared view of eternity?" I try to point out...people never started families for the eternity to begin with...so the answer to this question is most pressing.
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